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I feel fat


My eating has been unskillful and “out of control” lately.


I feel bloated and disappointed and so many uncomfortable physical sensations that are difficult to ignore.


I need to turn this around.


The first energy layer is resistance — I do not want to feel this.


That in itself feels heavy, stuck, unwanted.


So the antidote is YES. And Thank You.


I’m opening space for these feelings.


I’m giving this several breaths and allowing the sensations to be just as they are.


And then they change.


The bloated belly softens and expands to a connection to the wind and rain outside.


There are onion layers of judgement/resistance and then opening/allowing.


And that pesky mind wants to keep processing it to contain/change/get rid of it.


And then another layer that judges the thoughts.


Ok, yes. I’m willing.


And then at the edges beyond the mindstorm, I notice there’s space.


And that transformational invitation from Nirmala to move attention to what is already spacious and open.


Yep, there it is.


Presence.


Gratitude.


Compassion.


Truth.


I see that the snowball of overeating, then feeling bad and resisting and then overeating to feel better — gathers more and more of the same.


And the quite warm light of awareness melts it.

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