Yesterday I got coached on anxiety.
I thought after all these years, after all this work, after all the reframing, the anxiety would be gone.
Sometimes it’s so big I feel like my skin is going to burst into flames.
Sometimes it’s a low vibration in my belly and the back of my throat.
Always right there.
So my coach asked what if anxiety will never go away; how can you make room for it in a way that serves you.
And did I notice that when I try to make it go away, it gets stronger…
I’ve been sitting with that.
What does the anxious part want for me?
It wants me to be ready for whatever comes up.
It wants me to be aware of my place in this dance.
It wants me in the audience, safe and invisible so no one will belittle, shame, or reject me.
But I am being called by a greater Voice to step on to the dance floor, swoon into the music and see what’s possible when I rock this life. Big and confident and 100% alive.
I’m not the DJ, but I hear the music and I’m ready to head bang to the pulsing drums and slowly sway to the lullabys.
So I’m showing anxiety our deathbed and asking her — if this is our last day on earth, how do you want to have lived?
Big, open-hearted, and appreciating all of it; by living it.
I tell anxiety I am opening a place for her in my heart where she can observe and feel her feelings, but she needs to get on board because we’re hitting the dance floor.
And what if it’s not just my anxiety, but the cultural churn of our transition from the gravitational pull of fear and separation.
From that context, I feel that holding anxiety with compassion becomes service to the Awakening.
Yes I’m willing to feel it.
I have been given this by Something bigger than my little choosing, so I accept and offer my little humble heart to all those suffering with anxiety.
May we all recognize our shared experience in the Light of evolution, and consciously choose to carry it in the sanctity of One Heart.