This idea of no point, no lesson, no ultimate goal, has been marinating for a few days and shifting something deep inside.
Together with Byron Katie’s demonstration of loving what is — all of it — have been showing me all the subtle places where I’m resisting/arguing with THIS that is HERE right NOW.
“I don’t wanna _________”
“I wish I didn’t have to _________”
“I don’t feel like _________”
“I don’t have enough time to _______”
“Why can’t she just _________”
“Why doesn’t he _________”
“Why do I keep _________”
All the subtlest whispers that barely make it to conscious awareness.
All driving my feelings and behaviors.
If none of it actually means anything then why not dive in and play the game 100%?
Resisting and closing down feels heavy and dull.
Makes me feel like something’s wrong.
I’m afraid of my fear.
I’m pissed at my anger.
I’m sad about my depression.
I’m anxious about my anxiety.
Blah, blah, BLAH
Roll the dice, move my piece, pick up a card… the FEAR card…
Take 3 steps back and fall into the abyss.
And I have a magic “get out of my head FREE card.”
I can change what I’m making it mean because it has no meaning other than that.
The spiritual writings all talk about enlightenment being a burst of laughter, a release from the stories that filtered the world — recognition of nothingness.
So living 100% open, playing the game that has no meaning because it’s the only game there is…let’s see how that feels today.